When people get married, their first years of marriage are what are called “anniversary years.” These are times when things tend to really heat up and there is plenty of drama to go around. This is when you find yourself looking back at your marriage for advice or encouragement on how to proceed.
While it can be tempting to think of one of these as the “bad” years of your marriage, this isn't always the case. What you really need to focus on is figuring out what brought this marriage to such a great extent and how you can get back on track and have a marriage that works again. One way to do this is to look at the anniversary years in terms of how long each year has gone by. If you notice that the years before the present one was very happy years and you are not feeling quite so happy now, then this might be a sign that you need to look at how you can move forward.
When you take the time to look at what is going on in your marriage, you should think about whether or not you have any complaints that you want to work on. If you are unhappy about anything in the marriage, there is no reason to hold back. There is an abundance of information and resources online that can help you with problems and issues in your marriage. Take advantage of the resources that you have access to and work on what needs to be changed. It may take a while but you will eventually have a successful marriage.
One last thing you can do to help you work on the issues in your marriage is to start taking stock of how much you have actually accomplished in the past year. If you didn't have many accomplishments at all then you may be underrating what you did accomplish. For instance, if you went out and bought a new car for your husband than you might be overstating how much progress you have made. On the other hand, if you were very active in doing things like volunteering at your church or helping your children with homework, then you might be understating how much you have changed. Try to figure out how to put things in perspective so that you can know how to put the right amount of effort into your marriage.
Another way to make sure that you get through these anniversary years without feeling as though you are alone is to keep in touch with others who were once in your shoes and see what they did in order to get through their own. By putting their advice and experience to use, you will be better equipped to move forward.
There is no doubt that these years are not easy. However, if you are willing to learn from the past and continue to focus on your relationship, then you will be able to move forward and enjoy each of these years.
